Our Mission:

Attaining a satisfactory level of love and companionship through intimate relations is an unalterable, fundamental need of all human beings. The Institute for 21st Century Relationships exists to facilitate the fulfillment of the human potential for relating, and to support the freedom of consenting adults to discover and to practice the intimate relationship structure that best meets their emotional and human needs. We champion the basic human right to do so free of governmental, societal or institutional coercion or favoritism. 

We seek, through education, research, and support,  to create a climate in which all forms of ethical, consensual and fulfilling relationship styles are broadly understood and are equally respected and honored as legitimate choices.

When couples marry today, there’s only a 50-50 chance the marriage will endure.  Divorce rates remain near their all-time highs.  Depending whose statistics you choose to believe, as many as 70% of marriages will experience "cheating" one or more times during their existence.  Nearly a third of all children under 18 live in single-parent households.  Nearly 8 million of these children live with single parents who have never been married.  The social support network formerly provided by the extended family has virtually disappeared from contemporary life.

The Institute was founded at the dawn of the new millennium (July 2000) to help people create lasting intimate relationships that will work in our present world.  We are a research and educational organization, guided by distinguished researchers, academics, clinicians, and other professionals, and devoted to studying and educating the public about the various new forms of intimate relationships being chosen in today's world.  We are also dedicated to supporting the proposition that competent adults have a basic human right to choose for themselves the form their intimate relationship should take, and to be given education and support to help them make that choice work for them.

Looking at all the evidence, our founders couldn't avoid concluding that a "one size fits all" institution whose present conception is largely based on the fiction of medieval troubadours - i.e., monogamous legal marriage - is proving increasingly ill suited for many completely respectable and responsible people today.

Literally tens of millions of responsible, well-adjusted people are seeking out and living new ways of relating that don't embrace the traditional model of "one man, one woman, sexually/emotionally exclusive, legally bound for life."

	Recognizing the demonstrated perils of legal marriage at a young age, people are postponing marriage, or (as has been the case in Scandinavia for decades) forgoing it altogether in favor of cohabitation in record numbers.
	Millions of senior citizens choose not to marry legally for a host of valid financial, tax, and emotional reasons.
	Millions of same-sex unions, both sexually-exclusive and non-exclusive, exist and thrive - yet participants generally cannot (and many say they would not) legally marry.
	Millions of couples (primarily) enjoy the swinging lifestyle, where sexual openness is paired with emotional exclusivity successfully to deepen and enhance the coupled relationship.
	There is a rapidly emerging polyamory movement that practices multiple, simultaneous, open and honest romantic relationships, including varying degrees of sexual intimacy.
	Elements of the BDSM/power exchange relationship style are being accepted by, and assimilated into, society at an increasing pace, despite widespread misunderstanding.
	Religiously-motivated polygamy has gradually re-emerged from the shadows and, when practiced responsibly and consensually among adults, is being objectively judged by many as deserving a measure of tolerance out of respect for religious diversity.

All of these choices, when practiced consensually and freely among adults, deserve respect and social support.  They also need the kind of empirical research to discover and promulgate "best practices" that the old monogamous marriage model has enjoyed for decades.  Finally, there needs to be empirical research to help demolish unfounded stereotypes and prejudices that work to inhibit complete freedom of relationship choice.  We seek to support the attainment of all three objectives.

We honor and respect those who freely choose monogamous traditional marriage.  It is unquestionably a valid choice for many.  Nevertheless, we equally and firmly believe it is time to lay aside prejudice, inflexibility, ignorance and the insistence that humanity in all its wondrous diversity must adhere to a single acceptable model of intimate relationships, or do without.

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